Funny Marriage Quotes

Good Morning Everyone! As I always do, I post quotes before I start my day. I found another one about funny marriage quotes. I found it entertaining and it helps to start my day! Enjoy! Marriage couple can relate to this :)

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.”

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together."

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

“My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit.”

"I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."

“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.”

“Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.”

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?”

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

“Car Manufacturer's formula for a successful marriage : Stick to one model!”

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

"What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.”

“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”