Friday, August 3, 2018

Rest in Peace Buddy



⬅️⬅️⬅️A week ago we bid our last goodbye to our dog, Buddy. It was a very emotional day and our hearts are broken. He's been with us before we have kids and have witnessed our ups and downs for the last 13 years. He instantly became my girls older brother. He's very loving, sweet, playful, overprotective and patient.

A year ago, his health started to go down hill. When we took him to the vet for his yearly check up months ago, we found out that his heart weakened. Buddy was diagnosed with a heart murmur. He also suffered from dementia and debilitating arthritis. He lose his appetite, unable to stand up, and peed on himself. The doctor confronted us beforehand that he's not going to survive for a long time. I was in denial for weeks and I clung onto the hope that he would go peacefully in his sleep, but, in reality, I knew the time had come.

So last Friday, we brought Buddy to the vet. The doctor told us that he's seriously in pain. I am not in favor of euthanasia, but it's the only avenue for Buddy not to suffer any more. Watching him in his last breath as he slowly closed his eyes was heart wrenching. We sobbed and cried as we said our final goodbye to Buddy.

I love the way how we still talk about him every day, yet I'm still pinned to that moment when we said our last goodbye. For the past few days I could hardly go to sleep and I feel so guilty for putting him down. It is something I wrestle with every time I go to sleep and tears would roll down. I am still torn apart by grief. He's been an amazing companion.

Today, his ashes arrived and we did a simple memorial for him in our backyard. Thank you for 13 beautiful years Buddy! You will be missed! We will see you at the rainbow bridge.