Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Marriage is Not a Bed of Roses

...contrary to what you may have been led to believe. Marriage is a very long journey full of complications with deep valleys and steep ridges, but the best thing about marriage though is that you get to have a partner to share the good and the bad times of your life. You have someone who loves you and accepts you for what you are and whom you can be yourself without pretense.
peace offering from husband last week...5 roses for "I'm sorry and I love you"
Lately, husband and I had gotten in the habit of bickering. We would bicker for any and all reasons. We've been married for over 6 years and I really do love him so much, but I am worried that we really do bicker more than what is considered normal. Sometimes it happens for no reason at all and we just start shooting our mouths off at each other. Just like what happened last week, it was upsetting. We just need to learn to communicate better with each other. We are working on it!


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24 comments:

  1. w0rkingAth0mEMarch 22, 2011 at 2:33 AM

    ang pretty ng red roses na ito :) Ganyan talaga buhay mag-asawa .. ang important you know you love each other.. Ako kasi hindi ganyan eh, lol

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  2. Lina GustinaMarch 22, 2011 at 3:47 AM

    I can relate with this :)
    It's a lovely peace offering...

    http://www.womenandperspectives.com

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  3. MaryAnneVelascoMarch 22, 2011 at 4:00 AM

    Hello Dhemz.

    6 years is a long time and I know that the two of you can make it to forever. :)

    Bickering happens. It's there and present everywhere. As they say, sh*t happens at times.

    Hope that everything goes well soon. Keep the love alive!

    hugs!

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  4. anneMarch 22, 2011 at 6:10 AM

    We do bicker sometimes I would wonder if we really can't make it but you are right, love will always prevail in the end. I guess that's how marriage is.

    Ruby Tuesday

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  5. jenMarch 22, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    Marriage is a lot of work!!!!

    Good luck. We actually did a marriage retreat last month because we really needed to learn how to communicate better - learned a lot of cool stuff.

    Thanks for riding the train today!
    The Survival Mama

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  6. AnonymousMarch 22, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    I am a new GFC follower and a new networked blog follower from the Tuesday blog hop. I would love a follow back!

    Have a terrific Tuesday!

    Hope
    http://www.peanutbutterandhopey.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. MinnieRunnerMarch 22, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    Sweet naman ni hubby! *nilalanggam*

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  8. DebbieMarch 22, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    Keep working on it! I sometimes think bickering becomes just a habit and is difficult to break.

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  9. AnonymousMarch 22, 2011 at 11:41 AM

    There was a period in our marriage that we were always fighting too. But after fighting and bickering, I sat down and realized that after all what happened , we still love each other and it's greater than what our problems were or what we fought about.
    Why don't you pray together each night holding hands asking for each other's forgiveness and ask God to guide and guard your relationship.
    Most fights also, originate from just being misunderstood or miscommunication so it's better that you sit down when both of you are calm and discuss your feelings and about the fight.
    We just celebrated our 7th.

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  10. UnknownMarch 22, 2011 at 2:14 PM

    New gfc follower. If you get a chance please stop by my blog and return the favor


    www.mommywantstoread.blogspot.com


    Melissa

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  11. Mel Avila AlarillaMarch 22, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    Your hubby loves you so much to give you that bouquet of roses as a peace offering. More often than not, quarrels and bickering are triggered by outside forces that give us stress and we normally let it all fly out to our spouse which should not be the case. Spouses were not meant to be shock absorbers by their mates. Your hubby must always be in a lot of stressful situations and as per training and culture in America, Americans are encouraged to ventilate their pent up emotions and spouses are normally the recipients of those venting. Asians including Pinoys are more discreet with their pent up emotions and stresses. They normally spend their pent up energies in strenuous exercises or in drinking bouts with their buddies. But Americans are different. They love to vent their emotions often in shouting bouts that may include some cursing. I hope your hubby is not like that because I know that Bisdak will never take that sitting down. Of course they will retaliate in an even louder voice, hehehe. I may be wrong of course, hehehe. Thanks for the post. God bless you all always.

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  12. LainyMarch 22, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    Despite the number of bickering, it's obvious that you both love each other deeply. The bouquet of flowers is lovely. That gesture clearly shows the hubby was sorry and that no quarrel can get in the way of your marital vows.

    Keep the love burning!

    Hugs,
    LAINY
    LAINY'S MUSINGS
    OUR JOURNEY TO FOREVER
    THE FOOL ON THE HILL
    THE CERTIFIED FASHIONABLE CHIC
    KUERDAS

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  13. Dean and Lee SchroederMarch 22, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    Sorry to hear about that Dhemz but you are right, a good communication is really good between two people who love each other so much. Red roses are really beautiful! Mine is up - Ruby Tuesday

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  14. Chubskulit RoseMarch 22, 2011 at 5:51 PM

    Naku naku wag mamimihasa sa bickering hehehe.. When one is running the mouth, one should keep shut hehehe... But it's part of growing up and molding your relationship into a much better one.. Oh diva! Hava ng litanyan ni Kuya Mel hehehe..

    Lovely roses by the way!

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  15. edenMarch 22, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    I can relate with that too.

    So sweet naman ni hubby giving you 5 roses..

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  16. Magical Mystical TeacherMarch 22, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    You speak the truth when you say marriage is not a bed of roses!

    A TOUCH OF RED

    They say that just one touch of red
    Will put big, bold thoughts in your head.
    So scarlet’s for you,
    And burgundy too,
    And cardinal and carmine—‘nuff said!

    © 2011 by Magical Mystical Teacher

    Feast of Reds

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  17. carinamodellaMarch 23, 2011 at 3:50 AM

    ganda ng color ng roses...bright red talga sya. i agree with you sis, that is considered normal and one of the stages that you need to overcome. hope all is well now :)

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  18. Chie Wilks March 23, 2011 at 6:02 AM

    mao ba sis, dli raman jdu na malikayan sa? kami pud gani. mao mas maau nga lagyo mi pero even sa YM magkabikil kapon.. pero it is so sweet of your hubby kay naa peace offering..beautiful roses pa jud.

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  19. CielaMarch 23, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    I think bickering is never missed in any marriage. It's part of it especially if the marriage is as young as yours. You'll get over it eventually as you both mature in your relationship.

    AS long as both of you know how to acknowledge mistake it won't hinder the love to grow deeper.

    Btw, thanks for the malware info Dhemz! Unfortunately,I'm not a techie person so I have yet to seek assistance to remove that virus file from my computer. TC!

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  20. Lavender and Vanilla Friends of the GardensMarch 24, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    Next time you are bickering, say out of the blue "I love you" and all is forgotten! Last Year Peter and I had our 50. wedding anniversary; believe me it works wonders! I know, no marriage is always a bed of roses!

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  21. LuluMarch 25, 2011 at 12:08 AM

    hehehe dugay na mi nag away ni dave tuloy wala akong roses lol....

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  22. UnknownMarch 25, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    mas okay pa hinoon ng may away paminsan- minsan Dhemz kay part na sa relationship ninyo...basta ba eh, ang pinag-aawayan ay parte lang sa bahay at walang 3rd party, oks lang yon...

    ka gwafa ba sa peace offering ni hubby oi...as in...am sure na in love ka lalo kay Grego...tingalig mamanghuran na ron si Akesha...hehehe

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  23. Verna LugaMarch 26, 2011 at 9:44 AM

    Dhemz.. boring yung married life kung way away.. wa poy lami... nyahaha... nindot man jud tung naa away gamay para kabalo ka unya kaya ug dili nimu himuun... basta at the end of the day.. kape-kape lang gud istorya gamay.. unya istoryahan na dayon tung mga dili na dapat himuun... heheh.. sharing lang sa amung strat.. mu work diay sa inyo ..lol..

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  24. Sara ChapmanMarch 26, 2011 at 11:22 PM

    The way we act with each other wears grooves and it's very hard to change. You have a groove of bickering. You need a groove of harmony! Absolutely better communication will solve this. Practice a five minute conversation each night. The first night, you talk for 5 minutes and he just listens. Not even questions! Then the next night, he gets to talk for 5 minutes, and you just listed. Do that for a week or two. It's wonderful what can be expressed when you know the other person is not going to interrupt or argue, just take it in, and only reply after they have had a day to think about it. Try it and good luck. Your daughter needs to have love, not bickering, around her.

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